Couples Counseling

Quick things to know about me as a couples counselor         

  • I focus on what will work for your relationship
  • I work with couples in all life stages
  • I appreciate all kinds of relationships
  • I have a sex positive view of relationships
  • I work with couples with trauma histories
  • I work with sexual issues often
  • I invite families into the therapy if it would be helpful to the process
  • I work with couples preparing for marriage
  • I give psycho-education workshops upon request

About Couples Counseling

As a couples counselor I work with an integrated method, meaning that I take some of the different methods that have been developed over the years and weave them together to create a plan that will be most effective for you and your situation.  My main influences are Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman’s Couples Therapy, and Object Relations Couples Therapy. 

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy was created by Leslie Greenberg and Sue Johnson.  Today they practice and research their own versions of these therapies and I use both.  The research behind these methods shows high success rates and long term benefits.  It is based on a biological understanding of how adult attachment relationships work.  It helps to improve emotional closeness, relationship stability and safety.
John Gottman’s research has influenced our understanding of relationships significantly because he was one of the first researches to look at what was going right in relationships, not just what was going wrong.  This lead to an understanding of several things that are present in long term successful relationships.

Object Relations Couples Therapy works to identify the dances that happen between us based on our own histories as well as our relational dynamics.  These moves are often subconscious and some a very helpful while others are harmful and need to be shifted.  It often helps to bring understanding to these processes and to emotionally heal from any harm that we have caused each other.

Couples Counseling and Trauma

Sometimes one or both members of a couple have experienced trauma in their past, or more recently, that is affecting the way the couple relationship is working.  Couples are often affected by post traumatic stress symptoms when there has been a burglary in the home, a car accident, when there has been a loss, after a partner returns from combat or when one or both members have a history of  sexual abuse or domestic violence.  Somatic Experiencing and EMDR can be combined with couples therapy to allow us to become our partner’s ally in healing.  When we heal these wounds together, the healing reaches beyond the family member who was effected by the incident(s) and can allow for a greater bond and closeness than has been before.



Couples and Sex

Many couples come to me because they are having an issue with their sexual relationship.  I have worked with couples who are non orgasmic, have erectile dysfunction, have painful intercourse, have difficulties with low libido, have difficulty with differences in sexual preferences, are attempting to open their relationships.  I work with a non-judgmental, psycho-educational approach that helps us open up communication about our sexual lives in a safe way.  I also look at the different issues that sexual difficulties bring up within the couple relationship.  Intimacy is much deeper than the physical bond but the reality is that when couples are having sexual difficulties most report that this is the biggest problem in their relationship, that it overshadows all of the other issues that they face.  developing open communication, sexual intimacy and safety with each other can be  the key to rediscovering your passion and joy with each other.